Idea - The premise is simple, but very different than every other typical VN setting: Two girls life by the coast dream to be a lifeguard, instead of the typical "schoolgirl in the urban city" which has been done to death. Even among the FMG genre, you avoid the overdone serum trope, and instead use a lost jewelry, injecting a dose of mystery into your story. I compliment your creativity to explore an unfamiliar territory (for me at least) and very much intrigue what comes next.
Visual - Despite utilizing AI generated images, they're still beautifully made and has little to no flaw. Additionally, you take an extra step in animating the scene, (however simple as it is) making them come alive. Well done. My only criticism is that the character image for Gram seems very off as from what I understand is Natsumi's grandmother - she looks too young; need more sag and wrinkle.
Writing - In the short demo, I immediately knows the character very quickly: Natsumi, Tangerine, Lovel, Grams, even the despicable Nick. They're nicely written, no apparent grammar or spelling error and lively. And I appreciate the little text animation you put in.
Conclusion - It's difficult not to draw comparison to another the established FMG VN like the StrongGirls series in term of style and quality, however I can see a huge potential and I acknowledge how much love and care you put into this. Despite of being in a very niche genre (Muscle Girl in Visual Novel using AI generated assets), I can happily say that there is another addition in the works by a very capable hand. Keep it up
Before I end, I have a questions: Do you intend to make it a full life sim, linear story or hybrid like the StrongGirls VN?
To be honest, I was quite surprised to play this game for the first time. For most of the visual novel games I have played, the animation performance of this game can be said to be outstanding (most of the visual novel games made by AI that I have played have almost no performance, at most it is the fading in and out of characters and some pitiful movements).As a player from a non-English-speaking background, I'm not certain if I'm qualified to evaluate the writing, but it does feel quite enjoyable to read.
From a storytelling perspective, there seems to be an excessive amount of exposition at the beginning. Within a half-hour gameplay, only about five minutes are dedicated to FMG. I'm not averse to the five-minute FMG segments, as they don't take up much content. However, I believe the exposition could be streamlined, or some elements could be postponed. Currently, with numerous characters introduced all at once, it may be challenging for players to immediately grasp their significance or to thoroughly explore their traits and backgrounds. I suggest that Karina's storyline could be rescheduled. Additionally, I am somewhat skeptical about the amount of content this game will offer. Personally, I prefer a more gradual FMG progression. While a faster pace is appropriate for an illustrated short story, in a game, the protagonist appears to reach their developmental limits within half an hour, making it impossible to hide from the others. As another commentator suggested, the game cannot simply revolve around a talisman relay race. Therefore, I believe a slower pace would allow each character to undergo a more fulfilling development, thereby enriching the overall content. Nonetheless, I still hope the game offers means of growth beyond the use of talismans.
Thank you so much for the detailed feedback, received a few similar thoughts about too drastic changes in MC's appearance. I definitely will tune this in release, but I guess It works well for the DEMO purpose for now.
The writting is good, I just don't really like how the growth happens and how it could be handled later. (making the amulet pass to everyone can be a bit boring)
Hi, always great to see another FMG game in the making. Your artworks look amazing and the movement/transitions over Renpy are so well made. I liked that you took your time to build up the scenario and your heroine is pretty cute 😁
Overall I enjoyed it a lot, even if I normally prefer a slower growth to savour the intermediate steps. I'll keep your game on my watch-list and wait more content. Hope you keep it up and I wish you all the best in making this.
AI art just ain't it. I tried to like it and don't get me wrong its impressive what it can do, but it's just not suited for lewd games. Just can't beat the spice and flair of self made art/animations.
Totally agree with with the last sentence, and I think it's pretty decent base work for people like me without major art skills. Me personally I'm ok with AI, but this could not be for everyone.
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My feedback:
Idea - The premise is simple, but very different than every other typical VN setting: Two girls life by the coast dream to be a lifeguard, instead of the typical "schoolgirl in the urban city" which has been done to death. Even among the FMG genre, you avoid the overdone serum trope, and instead use a lost jewelry, injecting a dose of mystery into your story. I compliment your creativity to explore an unfamiliar territory (for me at least) and very much intrigue what comes next.
Visual - Despite utilizing AI generated images, they're still beautifully made and has little to no flaw. Additionally, you take an extra step in animating the scene, (however simple as it is) making them come alive. Well done. My only criticism is that the character image for Gram seems very off as from what I understand is Natsumi's grandmother - she looks too young; need more sag and wrinkle.
Writing - In the short demo, I immediately knows the character very quickly: Natsumi, Tangerine, Lovel, Grams, even the despicable Nick. They're nicely written, no apparent grammar or spelling error and lively. And I appreciate the little text animation you put in.
Conclusion - It's difficult not to draw comparison to another the established FMG VN like the StrongGirls series in term of style and quality, however I can see a huge potential and I acknowledge how much love and care you put into this. Despite of being in a very niche genre (Muscle Girl in Visual Novel using AI generated assets), I can happily say that there is another addition in the works by a very capable hand. Keep it up
Before I end, I have a questions: Do you intend to make it a full life sim, linear story or hybrid like the StrongGirls VN?
Hello, thank you for detailed feedback.
Grams will receive new sprites, received multiple reports on her young look)
My goal is to create a good linear story without overbranching.
To be honest, I was quite surprised to play this game for the first time. For most of the visual novel games I have played, the animation performance of this game can be said to be outstanding (most of the visual novel games made by AI that I have played have almost no performance, at most it is the fading in and out of characters and some pitiful movements).As a player from a non-English-speaking background, I'm not certain if I'm qualified to evaluate the writing, but it does feel quite enjoyable to read.
From a storytelling perspective, there seems to be an excessive amount of exposition at the beginning. Within a half-hour gameplay, only about five minutes are dedicated to FMG. I'm not averse to the five-minute FMG segments, as they don't take up much content. However, I believe the exposition could be streamlined, or some elements could be postponed. Currently, with numerous characters introduced all at once, it may be challenging for players to immediately grasp their significance or to thoroughly explore their traits and backgrounds. I suggest that Karina's storyline could be rescheduled. Additionally, I am somewhat skeptical about the amount of content this game will offer. Personally, I prefer a more gradual FMG progression. While a faster pace is appropriate for an illustrated short story, in a game, the protagonist appears to reach their developmental limits within half an hour, making it impossible to hide from the others. As another commentator suggested, the game cannot simply revolve around a talisman relay race. Therefore, I believe a slower pace would allow each character to undergo a more fulfilling development, thereby enriching the overall content. Nonetheless, I still hope the game offers means of growth beyond the use of talismans.
By the way, I hope the game includes some background music, so I don't need to play it myself.
Yeah, should work on this in the next updates
Thank you so much for the detailed feedback, received a few similar thoughts about too drastic changes in MC's appearance. I definitely will tune this in release, but I guess It works well for the DEMO purpose for now.
Again, thank you for the valid points🖤
Nah, this is AI. Horrible.
🤷♂️
The writting is good, I just don't really like how the growth happens and how it could be handled later. (making the amulet pass to everyone can be a bit boring)
Well, don't you worry, it have some restrictions and rules, so it can't be overused
Nice job on the demo, can't wait to see more!
great start
Hi, always great to see another FMG game in the making. Your artworks look amazing and the movement/transitions over Renpy are so well made.
I liked that you took your time to build up the scenario and your heroine is pretty cute 😁
Overall I enjoyed it a lot, even if I normally prefer a slower growth to savour the intermediate steps. I'll keep your game on my watch-list and wait more content. Hope you keep it up and I wish you all the best in making this.
This drastic changes during first FMG sequence was intentional, further will be more engaging I believe. Happy to hear you liked i
A very high quality and good project. You can see that it was done with heart, thank you for that. I will wait for the next updates!
<3<3<3
AI art just ain't it. I tried to like it and don't get me wrong its impressive what it can do, but it's just not suited for lewd games. Just can't beat the spice and flair of self made art/animations.
Totally agree with with the last sentence, and I think it's pretty decent base work for people like me without major art skills. Me personally I'm ok with AI, but this could not be for everyone.
Holy! You are very talented, great job! <3
Glad you liked it! Tried my best :3
I wish you the best of luck with this game brother and congrat
Appreciate it, thanks!
first to comment, first to say this is a banger
May The Ocean bless you!